I have all the comments that got more that 100 likes tattooed on my ass.

"Nobody takes selfies with cameras anymore" — oh the rules for membership keep changing right before I join the cool crowd.

Uh, no? That tattoo is from Bad Ink, some dude got his ex-girlfriend tattooed on his arm. Proof:

So, I'm guessing you think it was a mistake for me to get a tattoo of that Deadspin comment I made that got starred?

You and I have spoken extensively about Fest before. Although perhaps you don't remember, I do. I'm not saying anything you haven't heard from me before (and vice versa).

I actually do regret having them and it feels horrible to admit, especially when no one else in my world has ever admitted it to me. I will say this, though: my oldest will be 15 in a couple of weeks and man, he is actually a pleasure to be around. As in, I genuinely enjoy his company and don't in any way feel like…

Do you think the kinds of parents who ooze on social media about how perfect their precious angels are and how happy they are to have given up their careers for them doth protest too much? IMHO, people who are truly happy with their lives don't brag.

I'm glad you brought this up because in between telling me how miserable they are, some of them will be like but you should totally have some. JOIN US. BE MISERABLE WITH US so I don't have to feel so shitty about my life decisions!

I tell my now dwindling numbers of childless friends not to have kids so I can still enjoy their friendship. I don't mind my pain in the ass kids, its all the other fucking parents I have to deal with. The worst are the newbie parents judging me, fuck you, I've been doing this for 15 years, I don't care what your…

Absolutely. I want people who want kids to be able to have them, and I want people who question it or don't want it, to not have kids. There's enough resentment and unhappiness and frankly, people in this world. I feel like I am doing a service to to myself, my husband and the world by choosing not to. And I'm…

It would take 260.5 hours of work to make $17,975 just working on the computer at $69 an hour. That's more than "a few hours."

I lived in Tokyo in the 90's and you could buy a boxed melon for upwards of $100 USD. The thing is, these are meant to be gifts. They are exquisitely wrapped, and must be completely unblemished, aesthetically perfect, and at the peak of ripeness. When that was explained to me, it seemed slightly less kooky.

Considering that expensive fruit is gifted to build relationships, what does a $6 banana say about the nature of the relationship between the gifter and a recipient?

This would do a number on Freelee's pocketbook.

I'm not sure why there needs to be an exclusionary space for discussions of those issues. Yes, they may by nature exclude trans-women because they do not share those experiences, but I don't understand what can be gained from banning trans- women from attending even if the topic at hand is not personally applicable.…

I'm kind of feeling similarly as a gay cis male. I don't have anything to gain/lose in this conflict and it's not about me. If women-born-women (or whatever the appropriate term is, I see that one used a fair bit, but it sounds pretty problematic) want a space away from trans women...well that's an issue for women…

I don't see the issue. I can talk about my period with a transwoman in the room. So what if she doesn't get one? She can just listen. What do I care?

This is one of those issues that— as a straight cis man— I generally try to stay away from. BUT since we're talking about it...no. I'm not cool with it. It isn't my battle but I try to be a decent ally. I use the same basic rule I have for any ethical conflict like this: are you punching up, or punching down? …

They don't exist on the East Coast.

Bigots like you belong in a museum. The ironic part of this is just how much you have in common with the patriarchal right wingers that you so detest.