I love your 60 second recaps and will watch them all, even for things that I do not care about, like Sex and the City.

A used mattress from a Trump hotel.

Sex and the City is the worst!

He was also brave enough to wait until Mariel Hemingway was 18 before he tried to seduce her. Not only a hero, but a perfect gentleman.

Guys, he only abused one child. Like, he could have abused so many more but didn’t. He’s practically a hero.

As a Browns fan I’d just like to add that I bet a lot of people read this and think, come on, nobody could possibly think the Browns are going to make the playoffs this year!

“No, it’s not accurate. I don’t know who the (bleep) said that. That (bleep) is (bleep). Whoever said that (bleep) is (bleep). That’s all I have to say, man.”

Yeah. Largest pearl? Or smallest deformed chicken?

I’ll have you know they rehearsed all night!

We all know what kind of villain Draymond would be

If this were an action movie, then Draymond (the villain’s dumb, taunting righthand man) would get killed in a satisfying way by the hero near the end. So here’s hoping LeBron dunks him into the equator and then stands over him on the baseline as he scores his 60th point to put the Cavs up by 10 in the final minute of…

Least surprising newly-revealed fact? They’re into Ayn Rand. Of course they are.

That True Blood scene was supposed to be heartbreaking and dramatic. But I remember laughing until tears came because it looked so ridiculous. The “gurl bye” is exactly what played in my head.

Is that a pantsuit? It kinda seems like pajamas 😅 which, you do you girl.

Me hearing they are remaking this already perfect movie:

Suchet Forever, Malkovich Never!

God that movie is so terrible and cheesy how can you not love it?

What I’m getting from watching a few minutes of them interacting is that someone (their managers/agents) thought it would be good for them to nominally get together and shoot this “we’re together!” video to test the waters to see how much interest there would be for what would become a reality show (to get that…

“I thought it had all the build of a one-story motel”

“I felt it was as lethargic as a drunk turtle dozing under a sunflower after ingesting a bottle of Valium...”