To be fair, those 15 Final Fantasies had a heck of a lot of variety across them. And were spread over decades.

That all depends if the car’s owner actually kept up with the registration.

The Jalopnik short story contest. Pick a car-write a 500 word story about why. 

*reads through auction prices*

This could be marketing gold.

I’m looking for long form journalism, not a tweet.  

Probably more likely than people fleeing the country.  But I’m sure there has to be one or two of those as well.

Well, you see, the owners held their thumbs over the license plates while taking pictures, so they are 100% untraceable.

anyone have a link to the auction?

couldn’t they just run the plates and find the registered owner? it’s not like these are sunglasses and need to wait at lost and found for someone to claim

My ex had a Mini Countryman S of that vintage. A car so shitty in every aspect, I would have also forgotten it at an airport parking lot.

Thinking about the circumstances that led to these abandoned cars is quite sad. Could be the owners traveled alone and died at their destination with no next of kin to be found. 

Would be a helluva’ article to read the backstories of how these cars ended up abandoned. Hint, hint.

I’m looking forward to the Nihilist Edition. No airbags, no seatbelts, and no brakes.

I was thinking more of  licensing with Pixar for an F150 Lightning McQueen edition, or the tree hugger package with hemp upholstery and bamboo trim. There should also be a pessimist package with a generator in the bed, or perhaps a pirate kit that plugs into Teslas and drains their batteries 

You felt that the “traumatic family holiday” zinger wasn’t enough as a pithy photo caption, so you repeated the exact same phrase in the body of the article? Boy, this place has really gone to the dogs. 

Why would I let some bronze age desert yokel control a 5,000lb vehicle? 

I’m going to have to ask that the Marxman be renamed the Marxperson. We really need to be gender-neutral here, as all genders are trapped under the oppressive boot of capitalism 

Someone take the LSD away from Torch! 

Don’t ever change, Torch.