I have made the assessment to deem you of sufficient compelling interest for me to impart further effort to "get to know you better."

...OK, full disclosure, I think this guy sounds amazing and would totally start a correspondence with him if I were single. He's an absurdly honest nerd with enough knowledge of history to make subtle Jonathan Swift references, who's so focused on not being a creeper that he recommends that interested ladies arrange…

Next up: George Zimmerman fights Casey Anthony.