Carano is currently suing Disney for wrongful termination and discrimination. Does she have a case? Who knows. The mysteries of the law are beautiful and strange.

I still want to see the receipt that proves Mitch Hedberg bought that donut.

David, you can go ahead and just take down this article. Spiderseverywhere doesn’t use streaming services, I would have thought you would have asked him ahead of time before publishing but it looks like you slipped up on this one. In fact if you could go ahead and remove all articles about streaming services from the…

Weird. That’s exactly how I fielded every ball in Little League and I could never catch one.

He’s a kicker, not a punter.

I thought it was the things Mario and Sonic collected.

Well if you think the sun is a god, or that god(s) roam the sky, you might draw pictures on Earth in order to please them. (I’m not saying this was the actual reason, I’m just brainstorming possibilities.)

Came here for “One Night in Bangkok,”was not disappointed. Would come again!

Won’t somebody think of the children!

It’s not so much a slippery slope argument (if we allow x, then next they’ll ask us to allow y) as much as it is setting bad precedents. If you take down a meme that says “white lives matter”, someone can argue that “black lives matter” means the same thing and should also be taken down, even though we all know one…

I heard Tom Jones is being forced to play What’s New, Pussycat on repeat at the Salt and Pepper Diner. Truly horrifying stuff.

Clearly, the way to catch a soccer dog is to slide tackle in its general vicinity and wait for it to fall over and theatrically hold its paw.

Thank you. Bring back lime.

The fuck-up on this one is that green is now green apple.

The good thing is they aren’t stuck with this failing business model for an entire season, they can choose a new one everyday!

Diner: “Can I have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, beer and the injured player walk-through special please.”

Waiter: “Would you like the special teams player injury or can I interest you in upgrading to a starter?”

No, MLB contracts are guaranteed money. So, unless a player decides to retire/quit the game then they will get their money, barring some kind of event that would give a club just cause to cancel a contract (something that would result in a lifetime ban).

It’s the Lakers’ season, summed up in one play.