While I agree that rape and sex are fundamentally different, the whole “rape is always about power and control, and never about sexual desire” thing that has been accepted as a truism really goes too far.

You’re spot on on both points. I’m ashamed of my gender as is for the shitty things we do, but to say that we, grown men, can’t control ourselves is just wrong. Not to go #notallmen, but of course most of use are capable of not raping. So Spike thinks that a) it’s a woman’s responsibility to not get raped (wrong) and…

Yep. Men think with their dicks far too often - hence rape (to them) is about sex when it’s really about control and power. They may think this way because sex for them is not an invasion of their bodies - they do the penetrating. And I’m all for going Lysistrata, but NO way is withholding sex going to prevent rape.…

The presumption here seems to be that women should withhold sex from men in order to stop being harassed and assaulted. So, once again, it’s up to women to not get raped? #fuckthatnoise