At this point, I'm not sure I can even tell Vincent D'Onofrio, Dean Norris and Bruce Willis apart…

"Secret recipe be damned, though; Popeyes is still better."

…but you eat GHOSTS, bruh.

I always get this goddamned movie confused with Night of the Comet…

I'd imagine that Aasif Mandvi is currently drinking to forget that terrible HBO trainwreck he was on with Jack Black.

Wait, this is real?

WELL, SO LONG AS NORTH AMERICA'S OLDEST FUNCTIONING WHITE-ASS CORPSE TOLD US RACISM WAS OLD TIMEY SHIT, THEN I GUESS IT'S OFFICIALLY OVER.

http://nypost.com/2015/11/0…

Jimmy Fallon could definitely do it…though he would end up seriously injuring himself, probably requiring a brief hospital stay.

A second controller was the only way I could keep Tails from fucking me in the half-pipe bonus levels.

THEY COULDN'T FACE THE MUSIC, YOU GUYS.

Huh.

Right?

In the last month, the AV Club has brought two albums to my attention that I ended up loving and otherwise wouldn't have checked out (Car Seat Headrest's Teens in Denial and Mourn's Ha, Ha, He). Likewise, I decided to check this out on a whim, despite the band's stupid fucking name, hoping for a hat trick.

You've got a point.

Eye patches look fantastic on everyone. I went out last night with one on and finally made my first intercourse.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, I'm old and don't get it.

Kit Harrington - Beard = Gavin Rossdale

Pfffffffffffffft, then YOU try generating positive social media buzz for a Sandra Bullock sci-fi/rom-com with the tagline, "From the species who brought you systematic genocide and Pauly Shore."