I freaking LOVE this. Battlefield/Call of Duty, the ball is in your court. Whenever someone says "fag" "gay" "noob" etc. make them run around naked and unarmed for ten minutes.

At this point, you just have to stand back and applaud the guy.

"Excuse me, Mr. [Anonymous baseball writer], can you explain to me why you've submitted a ballot that simply has a hand drawn picture of a pig pooping on its own balls on it?"

Is Piggy Poop Balls on the ballot? Because there might not even be a need to hold an election...

I vote for the buttfumble. Wait, am I in the right place?

I believe you have that backwards. You don't hang out in the left lane like a jackass and prevent people from passing on the right.

Exactly what is the issue with trains?

There are only 3 main roads to get from Dulles to DC.

So let me get this straight, after he owed them $800, he just kept doing it? This isn't surprising, this guy is just dumber than a bag of hammers.

Over the next 3½ years, Bourcier says, he used the toll road almost every day. Sometimes, he paid cash; other times, he sailed through the EZ Pass lanes — on about one-sixth of his trips, he estimates. "I thought I had to push them to the point where they're going to come to some kind of agreement with me to fix…

He gets to pay at almost 0% interest?
Can I borrow money from Virginia?

true rally tracks...not some computer-generated bullshit...I'M LOOKING AT YOU GRAN TURISMO 5!!!!!!

This reminds me of high school, when I gave 110% in practice, and had a 4.2 GPA.

I am retired professor at D-I major athletic player. And I mean major...In my specialty (engineering) all my student/athletes were truly both. I responded to attendance & projected grade queries. Never a problem that way......But I personally know of a colleague who had a football player "disappear" from her…

Next shocking headline to be...

Yup. Even the shithead players, to some extent. There's absolutely no reason amateur sports should be paired with college other than an accident of history.

WRONG! :p

Nudge Nuuuuudge

Wow, this was sooo funny. I hope you say it again for the next WP article.

Jalopnik HQ the day Torch brought the Raptor to work.