EARTHA KITTEN

This is like a live action turducken to a Japanese person.

You can have my latte when you pry it from my cold, dead, well-caffeinated hands.

Sadly, she's a really, really good rapper.

Azealia, girl. It's time to stop talking RIGHT NOW. You're, like, setting bundles of money on fire and throwing them out the window. This is the 'Self-Destruct' button on your career.

That was no mistake. It was your ONLY WARNING.

'stapled together on the rack; I tugged real hard'

This made me laugh and laugh. And then cry a little.

I am ashamed at how far down into the comments for this post I got before I realized we weren't talking about RuPaul. It's going to be a long, long, weird Republican primary for me, I'm guessing.

See my note on this thread about Season Two. OMG. Kill me, now. *lays on floor*

Oh, my gosh, you guys. Season Two of 'The Fall' is FUCKING CRAZY. I was able to watch it via nefarious means when it was playing in the U.K. and just...omg. You are so not ready. You think you're ready. You're not. It's so good. Scary. Harsh. Really, really good.

Oh, come on. This is some furious PR spin by Bieber's team if I've ever seen it. Really, Jezebel? You're not telling me you believe this.

She makes a pretty decent living charging a bunch of 50-something gay men $300 per ticket when she tours. It's kind of sad, her audience now. Shrieking ex-twinks who are feverishly trying to convince themselves that Madonna is JUST as fabulous as she was 30 years ago, and therefore so are they.

'I had to use a toothbrush to break it up.'

Thank you for destroying my innocence.

'humans are gross organisms unleashing untold amounts of detritus at any given time, alive or dead'

OMG, YES. Please, you and I, let's hang out in a very, very clean room somewhere — with no touching — in perfect silence and perfect understanding sometime soon. You get me.

STOP IT. I WILL CRY.

Except for that whole anal torture hot-sauce-on-a-tampon thing. I'm sorry, Rock needs to evolve beyond this kind of schoolyard, antigay bullshit. It's stunning that a film that is ostensibly all about freeing people from their cultural 'ghettos' has to resort to vicious homophobia for its laughs.

Fuck you, Chris…

'"GIRL THESE HIGHLIGHTS, JUST NO."'

I am crying.

You can come to my place any time. Do you like 'Orphan Black?'

Maybe Patrick Schwarzenegger *is* straight. He appears to be eating carbs, there.

1. Conservative politics. Particularly libertarianism, which, fortunately, not a lot of gay guys seem to be into.