Indeed, “tastes like that good old-fashioned lemonade.”

“Come on, there’s only one real Vuke.”

“Do you think the wallpaper is too much?”

I went to a Big 10 school, and it is impossible not to read that while singing the Michigan “Hail to the Victors” song...Ugh, Michigan.

Oh, we got a guy. Always talking in first person and never a “we.” “I” will sign a deal. “I” negotiated a deal for x, y, z. Drives me insane.

In my head he’s wearing one of those early 2000s’ 50 Cent cabana style tank tops with the ribbing around the neck and a Panama hat.

“This week in large standup collars.”

2032. Draymond Green negotiates a peace treaty with Putin’s son. It’s going to happen.

“Coming in 2028 to a local Police Department Neary You! (lightly used)”

So like old black women and young white men?

We got an IronMountain plant in the comments section! J/K.

*dips toe in Hawaiian lava*

“Uhh yeah dude” has been doing this shtick for nearly a decade...

The Vic Mackey “just desserts” punishment. Wait, I think I actually am experiencing that same punishment.

“Stand beside her...

This is a man who definitely starts issuing demerit points to his server at a restaurant for each “infraction” until he can get that shit down to like 7%, and then he brags to his fellow diners about why he isn’t giving a full tip for the “lousy” service.

he is a leto

“No one gets out of here alive.”

“Oh hi Mark.”

I was living in Tokyo for a year and came back to NYC, went to a Yankees game and sat with the bleacher creatures on my first night back. I naiively blurted “who the fuck is Russell Martin” when he came up to bat -- this was the glory days and I got a fucking tongue lashing from the Yankee faithful sitting within…