Voyager 1 finally calls home, drunk and broke. “Hey guys, sorry, my phone battery like must have died or something. Yeah, I had to borrow this old phone to call you. So like, can you send some money? I’ll give you an address. No, cash would be better, cause like uh, yeah, just send cash. I promise I’ll be home for the…

Also, a state with the word “road” in its pronunciation is anti-car?

This is very dumb. The smallest state should absolutely embrace the smallest trucks.  It’s called branding, you dummies!

Steve Smith, Roberto Duran, Napoleon .....should I continue ?

I’m certainly not secretly Julian Edelman, posting online under a different identity, where I disparage myself to further the narrative that I’m an underdog, who never gets support...If that’s what you’re suggesting it’s insane and certainly sounds like a thing that asshole Julian Edelman (again, not me) would do.

My #8 Suggestion To Improve Football: Do away with kicking specialists!