I like her too, but contralto my ass. THIS is a contralto:

Naw dude 21 is not too old to put all your income into savings

Why do you care what we think? We’re fucking alcoholics, ever-last one of us. Some of us are unhappy with our lives. I mean, I’m happy with my life, but maybe you’re happy with yours, too.

Next time, just tell her you don’t want your shot and encourage her to do a double on your behalf. Or on anyone’s behalf, really. I always appreciate taking someone else’s shot.

If you can buy Mister Handies in packs of 5, it’s virtually guaranteed that they’re killable and can’t be resurrected.

No, you’re really just being a fucking idiot, here. Being in the minority in the tiny little fishbowl of your work environment doesn’t mean jack shit compared to being a minority in the larger culture, you privileged asshole.

Wait what? Since when is being poor being a minority? And since when are you being shut out by ALL BLACK PEOPLE? You don't have to be the center of every conversation.

Knowing what oppression is is an avenue to having correct stances on issues.

Makeup??

I’m pregnant and have already caught myself asking my husband if he’ll be able to babysit during some evening commitments. Yeah, that’s a horrible sexist mentality and I need to get over it.

It’s called GOOGLE CALENDAR BITCH (well, for the appointment keeping-track-of). It’s kind of ridiculous how we become de facto secretaries for our husbands.

OMG that reminds me of when I told my 35-yo parents that they were middle aged because the life expectancy was around 70.

How does one adapt

It SHOULD, though. If not for bullshit moralizing that so many women buy into. Not the women’s fault, of course.

Jesus fuck I have to make a pilgrimage

Are they prescribing nose jobs in prison?

Meh, after further investigation, it could be that mine was also too shallow. It’s been about 5 years though so some migration could’ve happened. I’m learning so much about this =)

Oh god, but there never is, is there?

Why is this weird? Is it weird if Dad tags along for a bachelor party, if he was invited? I don’t think parents should be inviting themselves, because that’s always inappropriate.

I didn’t know there were good and bad candidates and that the VCH could be screwed up... I’m lucky the person who did mine was skilled, I guess!