*Mike drop*

Dear Washington Capitals,

“Such a dirty play by Zaza!”

How the fuck is Kawhi landing on Zaza’s foot ‘Zaza Pachulia came down hard on Kawhi Leonard’s foot’?

You know what nobody’s said on their deathbed? “I wish I’d worked more.”

To be fair the wife and kid probably wanted him to go back to work. I mean could you imagine spending more that a day with that guy?

THAT’s not the KUSH I was looking for...

“I don’t want to speak your language”

I bet Ryan will be really impressed with himself when he reads this.

“about damn time” -Steven Adams' testicles

Howard Ends, Ranked

I just wanna see the scouting notes on JaMarcus Russell. REAL BAD, SLOW DELIVERY, CONDITIONING A CONCERN, BUT CAN THROW TO THE MOON. LET’S GIVE HIM SEVERAL MILLION DOLLARS

I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

Woke up / got out of bed

Dorsey: Coach isn’t a big fan of Owen Wilson/Kate Hudson films anymore.

11:19 CPT (Colored Person Time)

And here I thought I’d have to wait until the game to see a statue repeatedly knocked over.

Tsonga left her in the care of Nikolay Davydenko, the sport’s expert on fixing things.

Violence is never the answer, but sometimes it is.

Barnes & Ignoble.