Is Alaska and Hawaii not on here for some reason?

I think Duane Johnson’s introduction of Lin-Manuel Miranda shows that he should host.

That suit is so ill fitting. I think you can have an oversized look that still fits your body, her arms look pinned down by the shoulder openings. And the pants seem askew in a I have to hold my body in one position to stay up way rather than in a this is me, comfortable in my own skin way.

Anyone who ruins a quality cut of meat, even if it’s one of Trump’s shitty steaks, by overcooking it and dowsing it in ketchup is obviously a simpleton who should stick to ground beef. Unfortunately in this case the simpleton happens to be the President of the United States.

As someone whose family often broiled steaks in the oven to the point of charring them through, I can attest that ketchup is possibly the only thing that can make a well done steak palatable.

Having spent 7 years working in a steakhouse, I can attest that there are exactly two kinds of adults who eat steak like this:

I had that hair ad that shade of pale.

The sad thing is the cut/color arn’t bad. If she tweaked just a few things like different shoes/shirt, pull up the pants a bit, and open the button she could have pulled it off.

My family didn’t go to the movies a lot when I was growing up/a teenager. We wanted to till everything came to the video store (Video Library, Hollywood Video, my dad hated Blockbuster). So in 96 it was a big deal when we all went and saw the most talked about movie of the time “Twister.” We didn’t go see another…

Has he ever farted under the covers then giggled? If not, you may want to double check that he’s actually a human male and not a unicorn.

Need some advice or support I guess, sorry to be a downer. This is about a crime that was committed against me, just FYI

Wooo SNS! I was starting to get a little worried.

In dire need of an escape from the news. So... SHOW ME YER NAILZ!

Most dudes I’ve been with love to eat to pussy. Or at least say they do & I hold them to it (hee hee).

probably best to stay away from women altogether as your contempt comes through pretty clearly here.

Right? I guess i’m just an outcast. I’ll be over there in the corner, hoarding all the dicks in my mouth.

My man spent about 2 seconds worrying about how it could make me orgasm more efficiently than he could. Then he tried it. Weeks later I had to buy myself a new one because he basically stole it. Still cracks me up.

They fear being replaced by a machine that “does it better.” Which is basically nothing but ignorance or lack of communication or fragile ego. I bought my wife a plug-in Wahl that made all of her previous battery powered toys seem like hotwheel cars to the Wahl’s Dodge Viper 800hp Mad Max Master Blaster Massager of…

I felt like that too, until my first ONS. That guy was kind of a jerk but we had amazing chemistry and he really knew how to give oral. That experience taught me that the reason I didn’t enjoy receiving oral sex wasn’t me, it was the man who wasn’t doing it very well. If he’s eager to go down on you, warn him you may…

Also dudes, if your lady wants to use her hitachi during, let her. Don’t take it personally. It’ll make it more fun for you too, I promise.