I'm 6'3" and very broad-shouldered. Flying is hilariously uncomfortable as a result. (Frankly, any form of travel is.) Did you know, however, that most flights stock two bottles of Glenlivet amongst all the lower-quality stuff? And I find alcohol prices on planes to be pretty reasonable, considering how many other…

There are similar genius puppies in this amazing compilation of puppies learning to go up and down stairs. I'll just leave this here.

I'm fine with this.

SO I AM REALLY EXCITED FOR THE LIL BUB TALK SHOW, GUYS. Don't talk shit about Lil Bub.

Oh great! Even if I get to live my life long dream of being a Mermaid, I'm going to have to deal with cat calls and slut shaming. Having breasts is so complicated.

And lest we forget ...

So, I'm assuming that the people fascinated with wannabe Mer-people were never 8 year girls swimming in the summer? Because that was my favorite make-believe game in that situation.

Am I the only one who read that Mermaid Park book? With the girl who went there every summer and became a mermaid performer? Because that was literally my favorite book for probably 4 years.

This gorgeous photo by Toni Frissell (a gigantic copy of which hangs in my living room) will alway be the first thing I think of whenever I hear Weeki Wachee Springs. I look at it whenever I need to feel calm:

Oh I would loooooooove to be a mermaid! I love the ocean, I love being underwater, and that is the perfect place to get a wise cracking sea lion sidekick.

Justin Timberlake has managed to stick it to Robin Thicke's entire career long before this video. I often wonder how angry Thicke is/was over Justin Timberlake. He must feel pretty awful that Timberlake stole his whole schtick with "Suit & Tie" and, to be honest, the rest of the 20/20 Experience.

I want to become famous so I can make a 7 minute long "music video" where I'm dressed in sweats and a T-shirt while hot, naked men with tattoos dance and writhe around me. Is that wrong, or is that only right?

I am highly disappoint in porn parody titles nowadays. It's all "This ain't" And "name-of-title- + xxx" Don't give me "This Ain't Star Wars" Give me- Star Whores. Bitanic. Shaving Ryan's Privates. Manhood of Steel. C'mon- I need to know somebody is putting a little thought into these.

Where's that boss Aussie Army officer? "The standard you walk past is the standard you accept."

"i'm'a let you finish, Kim, but Beyonce had the best celebrity birth of all time."

Well, I never bought their crap before, and i definitely won't ever now. I'm gonna go barf in the classic "eating a Big Mac" yoga posture.

Thank you. Everything about lululemon screams "mind numbingly boring people eternally committed to convincing others of their uniqueness."