Whatever you need to tell yourself, man.

Why do I have this sneaking suspicion that the lowest priced ticket isn’t actually going to go down?

Baseball is the only sport that actually looks like America.

Exactly. If my “instinct” every time someone taps my shoulder is to turn around and punch that person, it’s still assault.

Paying $100 to not get a job with the Browns seems totally worth it.

The Lakers give Nick Young, Timo Mozgov, and Lou Williams minutes. They are not cool and young. They are middle-aged and bogus.

parking a 25 foot trailer in his driveway. did you not read the article?

That is momentous.

still a giant dick

And yet somehow they’re infinitely better than your reading and comprehension skills.

Yeah, that was a really well thought out and eloquent statement he made....

I was so excited just two years ago.

This is so depressing, man. I was so excited about the Wizards just two years ago. They had two straight years of making legitimate runs almost to the conference finals, they had Wall and Beal as a promising and dynamic young backcourt, things were going in the right direction. And then things went down the tubes and…

don’t worry, it’s not over, she still has a chance.

Do I believe they called him “Diaper Don?”

To be fair, it was a different era. In 1998, urinating in other people’s beds wasn’t as big of a deal as it is today.

What’s the view like from Ted’s butt?

Zachary?

Loafers with a suit is an even a bigger problem. (Brown shoes in blue suit can be fine, but you have to put in a lot more thought into it than light brown loafers with a bold pinstripe power suit.)

I really hate to defend that suit and shoes combo, but the colors are fine.