“He moves around it calmly, reloading his gun several times, firing off at least 18 shots”

It’s a party where you reveal the gender of your in utero baby to the rest of the world, presuming that everyone cares as much about this as you do.

Woooooah!

“Will Smith has already been slated to play the Genie, while the role of Jaffar is being shopped to “known names” (it’s definitely going to be Johnny Depp, isn’t it).”

“I still support him financially and I’ll always be there for him in every way”

“Do you have plans to get a job?”
“Well, no, not at the moment, bu—”
“No diploma for you!”
[one year later]
“Hi, I’d like to apply for this job?”
“Sure, do you have a diploma?”
“Well, no, becau—”
“Sorry, no diploma, no job!”
[Goes back to Chicago Schools]
“So, look, I need that diploma to apply for this job.”
“Sorry, you didn’t…

Converting to the LDS church and immediately taking his 2 year mission.

I had a meeting with a senior VP from Costco last year, and at one point remarked that my favorite lunch at age 40 is the exact same thing as my favorite lunch at age 15: a Costco hot dog (with mustard and onions) and soda for $1.50. He told me “That’s my favorite, too, and that price is going to stay the same as long…

Impressive ethnic diversity in that police department! Looks like they have men of German ancestry, Irish ancestry, English ancestry, French ancestry, and Welsh ancestry. A real melting pot.

“I didn’t say Lamar is terrible, I said Phil is terrible because he tried to HIRE Lamar. Sheesh!”

“Wyatt also suggested that the prosecutor was motivated to go after Cosby at least in part by higher political aspirations like joining Donald Trump’s administration.”

[Obama golfs while wearing a polo shirt with two buttons undone]

Weird that presumably the consequence of them refusing to turn off the cameras would be the WH refusing to do on-camera briefings, which...is what they’re doing now? What am I missing here??

What they mean is “as a sportswriter employed by a large media company based in New York, my job is vastly easier when the nearest basketball team is relevant for the first time in decades.”

You basically take your donor feces, mix it with saline, strain it, and then insert it into your recipient.

I read another story that indicated that the hazard information is that she was struggling with mental illness and could be a danger to herself and/or others. Which...well, yeah, that’s important information to have, but only insofar as it helps you HELP THE PERSON WHO NEEDS HELP. It should not be used to create a…

I’d prefer that they go and then collectively turn their back on Trump right before the photo is taken. That image would resonate far better than them just not showing up.

“We can blame the GOP and tea partiers all we want, but there’s not a single Democratic politician proposing anywhere near the infrastructure funding we need, even if there were, there’s not a single voter out there who would vote for the kinds of tax hikes we’d need to address it, we’re just not close.”

“This is not about winning and losing races.”

Fortunately we have an ace negotiator as President, otherwise god only knows what would happen now.