Tommy Lasorda had a very similar story in his autobiography, wherein as a young kid he asked some ballplayer to sign his glove, and the guy basically told him to fuck off, and then when Lasorda, years later, was pitching in the minors (as a just-signed prospect), this same guy came up to bat, sort of on his last go…

Two things. My darkest secrets are pretty tame, and I’m not holding myself up as a paragon of moral virtue to the world, as Newt is.

Never forget, Newt was the guy who literally served his wife divorce papers while she was recovering from cancer surgery. And then cheated on the women he left her for (and married) with the woman who became his current/3rd wife. And once told a girlfriend that he could only have oral sex with her (him receiving, of…

Yeah, go look at that video again and now pretend you’re the GM who has to stand in front of the press with your new draft picks and EVERY QUESTION from the press is asking why you drafted the guy who punched that woman in the face so hard.

Amen. I fly Alaska about 80% of the time for business. The other 20% when I have to endure American, United, etc. makes me all the more happy to get back on Alaska. They have the same happy irreverence, and I love it.

Yeah, babies are just being babies. Loud dudes are CHOOSING to be belligerent dicks. 100x worse.

Alaska Airlines is pretty great as well. I was on a flight once (departed at 630am) and the flight attendants came on and said “and we’ll also be offering beer and and assortment of liquor along with our morning coffee and snacks. Yes, it’s 630, but we won’t judge you, folks. Everyone needs to cut loose every so…

You would die, and there is a large fence up to prevent you from doing that.

It would be, like, super interesting to look at the stock activity of Trump’s friends and family in the hours preceding one of his out-of-left-field tweets. He can literally impact the value of publicly traded companies by hundreds of millions of dollars at the drop of a hat. Crazy to think that certain people…

Holy shit.

Was there a pillow fight involved? Was your wife confessing that she wasn’t sure how to make out with guys, and Jenna offered to give her some pointers? I’m just assuming that real life works the same as “those” movies, right??

When Paul Ryan slashes her Medicare, Racist Granny will use her savings to buy Sean Hannity’s latest book telling her that it was George Soros’s fault.

I doubt it—he probably would have been shot by the responding police officers.

Other countries are going to suspect that Trump is an elaborate practical joke to get back at them for making fun of Bush for being a dumbass.

Wanted to update with this info, because so many people gave you shit for (correctly) diagnosing the fans as Trump supporters. Per ProFootballTalk:

What happens when an unstoppable force (Sage Northcutt in full apple-ripping mode) meets an immovable object (Honeycrisp apple)?

Um, perhaps that every corporation with even the foggiest notion of a clue is now going to be extremely motivated to cook up some overseas interest so they can get the POTUS to personally intervene and send buckets of money their way. All of which will result in much lower corporate tax receipts, already some of the…

He’s also “respected around the league” (seriously, any article about him will say this, or words to that effect) because he’s been on the rules committee or some such. My guess is that his owner was just so distracted over the past few seasons, including this one, about moving to LA that he just couldn’t be bothered…

George Brett thinks both of these losers can just fuck off.

“Looks normal to me!”