Popovich: [shits himself]
Popovich: [wakes up, realizes it was all a dream]
Popovich: laughs
ESPN: praises Popovich’s dream-shitting technique as coaching masterstroke.

Who knows—I don’t have the time, energy, interest, or inclination to get into an argument with a pedantic gun rights supporter. Can I point you in the direction of roughly 15,000 stories about someone getting shot by a gun that someone assumed was not loaded or that was assumed to be otherwise incapable of firing?…

Right, because nobody in history has accidentally shot someone with an “unloaded” gun.

Chip is the GM, though. Couldn’t he trade himself for a conditional 7th round pick in 2027?

If only there was some sort of offensive mastermind of a head coach who could be enticed to switch jobs based on the promise of coaching Mariota, a young team, and one with a top draft pick next year. Who could that be....

“They had to go through a verify process and a link is sent to their email to click to verify it is really them signing up,”

I wish players could be alerted that they’ve been added to my fantasy team—it most likely means they are just about to be benched, or suffer a season-ending injury.

No anti-fog windows?

“But Mastroddi didn’t initially accept the explanation that a team employee would be responsible for ensuring the performance of the referee’s microphone”

Well played, sir.

Now that’s a “way homer” if I’ve ever heard one.

“Twitter. Perhaps fine for following your favorite sports hero or politician. A quiet, sedate website, where nothing could EVER happen. And then...Zola showed up.”

The dispatcher asked the woman to describe the calls and she said,“They’re just asking about what time we’re gonna close and they just didn’t sound like they were legitimate customers.”

“It’s a bunch of dorks walking around a house at night taking photos and sound recordings of nothing.”

#TAPEGHAZI!!!!!!

It sounds a lot like Roger Ebert’s death. He announced that he wouldn’t return to his website for the near future, and then died days later. A lot of times the family knows the diagnosis is terminal but doesn’t really like making that news public because then it’s like everyone is just sitting around waiting for the…

And academics (and I work in academia, not in anything tenured, but I talk with faculty daily) regard tenure as Tenure. As an absolute. There would be such a huge outcry against any attempt to limit it that anyone who goes down that road would really have to be committed, because their reputation on campus would be…

LBJ would intimidate members of the opposition party by forcing them to accompany him into the bathroom when he was taking a shit. Since I’m a Democrat, I find this hilarious and awesome.

It’s a shame that more institutions haven’t found a way to keep the good part of tenure (that you can’t be let go for having unpopular and controversial ideas) in place while still making it possible to remove faculty who are laughably unproductive, bad citizens, etc.