I don't know I'd agree with you there. A gearbox is, in engineering terms, a bit of a kludge. It has its advantages, but it's hardly simple. The viscous coupling is an extremely simple and clever solution to the problem, although it's a bit lacking in efficiency. The CVT, done right, is mechanically the simplest of…

""I can do something you can't so I'm better.""

I thought your answer was pretty good too...

The Professor's best car? Mclaren MP4/5.

F1's perfectly suited to North Korea. After all, isn't Pyongyang named after the noise an F1 car makes going past at full throttle?

Truck porn :)

I think you mean a FATent.

"I'm an American, so I'm allowed to play the "fattest bunch of fucks on the planet" card."

That' a bit like saying that, since you think zips are, on the whole, better than buttons, you just had your tailor make you a zip-up dinner suit. There's a time and a place.

Yeah, especially in a Norfolk accent.

About a week after I passed my test I went off on holiday with the car to a little seaside town. On the way there the exhaust started blowing. Being on a limited budget, and knowing how many mechanics like to upsell, with some trepidation I took it into the mechanic in town and asked if there wasn't something cheap he…

You actually don't need to heat glass all that hot to make it melt - a standard blowtorch will do it. The hard part is turning the car upside down so you can drip the melted glass into place.

"On Thursday, October 12, 2012, at approximately 10:25 am an Airplane arrived into Philadelphia from Dallas. From this particular plane, a large volume of money was stolen."

This didn't happen to me, but it's an absolutely true story. My mother's cousin, or some such - I'm vague on the details, but she could tell you his name - went out shopping one day with the (beige) car, parked it in a suburban side street somewhere, and got the bus into town. Dropped down dead whilst shopping. Car…

If you let me drive, I'll come to Provence specially ;)

Being able to drive on a track doesn't mean a lot in this context. It's more commonly the multitasking which goes, leading older drivers to become distracted. That, or like this one they go senile and need full-time supervision. Sounds like the old boy in question shouldn't have been allowed out on his own, let alone…

That's plausible. Although it's also just as plausible that the thing had some expensive mechanical fault so he bunged the binmen $50 to crush the thing for him so the city would have to pay. Unlike running it into a stationary car and making the driver's insurance pay, a bike under a tarp doesn't have to move under…

Here in the UK that would still result in your premiums going up if you're insured fully comp - it may not be your fault, but it still 'demonstrates you're a higher risk'.

Or you just don't live in the States. They're not particularly nice cars, but they're practical for city use.

I don't know. It sort of fits with Beck's kind of god - if he exists, he's an evil bastard with a warped sense of humour.