Come on, if you highlight-truther in the title, there’s no fun left for us down here.

How do we know how many women you’ve beaten senseless? How many “2nd chances” have you been given?

I’m confused as to why you made up a quote when you didn’t need to... so here it is in full for you:

Musburger wants Mixon to learn from his mistake and become a better person!? What an asshole!

Phil doesn’t have room on his fingers for any more rings.

“Hello Jeanie. Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using lady-scented body wash and switched to Old Spice he could smell like he’s me.”

So Jeanie, you wanna grab coffee?

You don’t because you’re thinking of Tre Waynes.

You include Drew’s shitty Trump take, but then completely forget the plethora of shitty voting takes most of the remainder of the Deadspin staff unleashed?

To be fair, Drew said what most of us were thinking.

Or nobody got injured.

To his credit, Allen also called Santa Ana after their meeting to apologize again.

On one hand, Beckham has a point.

“Whoa whoa! You can plan parenthood?”

Great idea Mr. Royal! I’ve put NFL stadiums in Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook and by gum it put them on the map!

Words. All of this bullshit over words. Boys talking about girls. Boys making statements about girls in a sexual context. Words. This country is going to implode from the softness of this latest generation.

But as Will-Reign pointed out, this isn’t a case where the lower trajectory of the ball was crucial - the dude damn near blocked it with his chest.

Decent advice for an undergrad. Did it with two MLB franchises during the college days. You better be earning academic credit at least though.

I honestly don’t see the problem with this. Is entitlement and laziness now admired?

416 texts? Well, I guess she wasn’t up, after all.