“You’re not ‘old’ enough to get that call Cam. I’d give that call to an ‘old’ quarterback like Peyton Manning or Tom Brady or Andrew Luck or Ryan Tannehill or Nick Foles or Johnny Manziel, or Flacco, or Julian Edelman if they call his number for a passing play, but never to a ‘young’ guy like you or Michael Vick or…

Fuck you Papelbon you piece of shit. Harper is the best player on the team, and you pull this shit. I’m not kidding, if I was the Nationals I’d have Papelbon arrested.

Someone willing to commit felony sexual assault is not going to let a minor misdemeanor illegal bathroom usage law stop them from committing a more serious crime.

GOD DAMMIT the Deadcast is brought to us by DraftKings I thought I had an escape

Yes, like a flowing murmuration of 37 million starlings, all Californians moving as one. Please.

Remember when Americans were too chickenshit to go after the Saudis who financed 9/11 and instead teabagged the people of Iraq for 11 years?

It was the wrong decision, a stupid thing to do on the day after so many people had lost their lives in America.

But John Terry really is a cunt.

How do they keep winning if they’re cheating? I mean, explain that to me. Cheating means someone loses. They are so good, that they win even when they cheat. You’re all jealous of this team.

Belichick first explained away the headset malfunctions by calling it a “pretty common” glitch,

Sorry, but a black guy getting bad reception in the Boston area doesn't qualify as shocking news

Before any Patriots fans comment:

You can get a 2007-08 Maserati Quattroporte for half the price, with the same glorious engine and exhaust, more room for luggage, a more spacious interior, and a proper ZF automatic transmission that shifts smoother and doesn’t cost $3000/year in maintenance. That, to me, sounds like a far better road trip car.

This article is complete shit. You really have no idea when Mayweather will retire. As long as there’s a woman to be beaten and a child to be restrained, Floyd will never stop fighting.

USADA: We’re going to allow this. Any objections?
Pacquiao: [can’t raise hand]

Plenty of people/Mayweather groupies are going to think, “So what... he didn’t take steroids. It was vitamin C”. But this is actually very significant. Not so much because he needed to rehydrate - because Floyd has always weighed around 155 or less just walking around. Weigh ins have never been a problem for him…

Good meme recycling.

The umpire calls a pitch that far outside, and Joey Votto is the story? There’s a reason he’s one of the best players in the game — he doesn’t swing at that bullshit.