Rule of thumb I use when at bars: pay for EACH drink with a $20, bartender keeps all change. This goes for beer, wine, and mixed drinks.

Such a sweet thing to do for such a tiny person. I am in tears and you are perfect.

DO NOT backspace more than twice. You will NEVER be able to move your cursor and finish your thought. I have abandoned plenty of posts out of frustration.

Full disclosure: I ate one today

Not mine. The ones you've been to do not have proper ventilation nor do they clean their proofer daily. Made a BIG difference when I implemented those two processes into the daily chores.

Tear it up into chunks, grab seventeen packs of that butter and dip/chew away. Welcome.

Hey! I take offense! I have a very clean, very profitable restaurant that sells subs and I happen to like the food. (I also go to lunch everyday to another sub chain to have a salad - in my full uniform.)

McDonalds is worse. Way.

To quote Justine from The Cosby Show: "I have a lot of things inside of me that I want to say to you..." but I can't cause 'murica.

*yawn* Fry the oysters and you have the Sunday Supper menu at our local buffet.

That's what is in China shrink cream. Alum used for pickles AND vaginas... Makes them extra crispy?!

WHY CAN'T THESE PEOPLE STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY UTERUS?

I'm prepared to wear my EXTRA slutty costume in my Subway this year... Previous years were only partially slutty. All people that show up at my Subway in a slutty costume gets free cookies!!!

I absolutely LOVED being a server I can't believe I missed out on this part... My loss.

This actually happens?

DAMN THE GRAYS! I just want to scream (in 72 font) that EVERYTHING LUCILLE BALL WORE IN I LOVE LUCY WAS ERRRRRTHANG TO ME. OUTFITS ON FLEEK!!!

Shouldn't the new Miss. America be with Jen searching for the Dark Crystal and avoiding Skeksis?

Nope. ALL THE NOPES. Feel sorry for her poor children.

Send country hiphop to everyone in my contacts list. NOW.

Extremely well written article. Kudos...