Thanks, Smartest Man in the World!!!!

Booo hooo, fucj you.

Freddie Fender got 15 years for simply POSSESSING a handful of shake. Not buds, shake. If memory serves, he did those 15 years in Angola, Lousiana....

Were you devastated? Do you have the strength to go on? Did you look up parody and satire in the dictionary, and then decide your heart could go on??? Are you gonna be ok?

What offended you? My criticism of Yale, Harvard, Princeton, and Penn State? Are you a....gasp...choke...barf...Yalie? Oh my god, kill yourself.

I'm a rageaholic, an alcoholic, and an irrational hater of things. Troll? No. Asshole? Possibly. I drink gin and comment on Kinja. Sorry. I just get so worked up....

Is thus Cat’s mom? Because your son’s an asshole, ma’am, and I can't stand him. Jack Straw lives across the street. If you wanna have fun with him, be my guest.

You're right. He only supports the killing of Salman Rushdie. Seems like an awesome dude who is only kind of an asshole.

You suddenly developed a gluten allergy?

Oh yeah? What restaurant has she cooked for? Oh wait SHE'S A BILLIONAIRE WHO CLAIMS SHE'S A GOOD COOK

So you're saying that Cat Stevens, who publicly PRAISED the 9/11 attacks, is not an asshole? Smooth move!!!

My heart bleeds rivers of blood for all the Yale, Harvard, Princeton and Stanford students who suffer soooo much under the yoke of oppression while they collect the degrees that SET THEM UP FOR LIFE ON PLANET EARTH WHILST WE SUFFER WITH REAL SHIT THAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING TO US EVERY DAY

So let me get this straight: Yale accepted them because Yale is racist??? Totes makes sense. I also have some swampland I want to sell you.

Do you hear my tiny violin playing for you, you lunatic?

Attention idiot Chief Wiggum: I cry tears of blood every night for all the poor, mistreated YALE AND HARVARD STUDENTS WHO HAVE UNIMAGINABLY BRIGHT FUTURES LAID OUT IN FRONT OF THEM AND FEEL MISTREATED IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM AND CRY THEIR WIDDLE EYES OUT AND LOSE CONTROL OF THEIR BODIES AT FACULTY MEETINGS WHERE THEY…

Here's a better headline: PRIVILEGED IDIOTS COMPLAIN ABOUT PRIVILEGE, IDIOTS, COMPLAINTS

Attention idiot Yale students: YALE CHOSE YOU AND YOU ARE SET FOR LIFE. YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORK AT SUBWAY OR MCDONALDS LIKE COLIN PINKHAM. NOW SHUT THE FARK UP AND GET BACK TO WORK.

Yes. I love you. Is that so wrong? Because if it is, I don't want to be right.

You're even more pathetic than I thought. Let me talk to your mom, kid.

Nice try, troll guy. You're almost adequate.