Why do I remember every last damned word of this song, while completely forgetting everything USEFUL I learned in 1988, such as, oh I dunno, ALGEBRA, just for starters?

The playground rumor was that if you sang this through all the way through at the counter, you got a free meal. So I was going to try to do it, and I was memorizing the words. But that day, my uncle decided to put a coffee creamer up to his eye in the McDonalds line and stab it so it looked like his eye exploded. And…

I've spent 28 years trying to forget this, Internet!