Good-ass tweet there.

When you beat DDG clean, you’re awesome.

Is this a joke? It’s been talked about all week...

Alan Shearer did.

I’d wager good odds that Shearer did.

Yeah, it’s ridiculously contrived. But when your team can’t win trophies this is the type of thing you focus on.

I know this exit, I believe it is Exit #8-8

Super Bowl bound Bears? Isn’t that like, an oxymoron?

Too long. But when my sister had a brain tumor they did my family a solid, so I was loyal to the team for far longer than I otherwise should have been.

I’m not a religious guy, but the Cowboys all shitting their beds fills me with such Christmas spirit that it brings one to wonder about a higher power. It’s just so, so perfect. Dez getting pouty and then fumbling, Dak throwing a pick 6, Dan Baily missing TWO FGs he’s normally money on - presents for all. God bless…

Jesus man....it was Greg Hardy that sent you over the edge? How long have you been a Cowboys fan again?

As a Dallas-born Philly resident and former diehard Cowboys fan until that perpetually gaping asshole Jerry Jones signed Greg Hardy, I say: HAHAHAHAHA! Eat shit Cowboys! Jerry, I hope you get nothing but Depends for Christmas and that Dallas doesn’t win another playoff game until after you die (I also hope you die…

Don’t worry, the Tallahassee PD investigated and said everything checked out.

I’m not familiar with your American footed ball, but is there anything in this young man’s background that suggests emotional instability and poor impulse control?

Jesus. Does Lee here owe you money or something?

This is what happens when you eat too many Ls.

Jameis Winston standing there by himself trying to look hard after none of his teammates made the slightest effort to hold him back—when it was damn clear to everyone that’s what he wanted—is a goddamned Christmas miracle.

*someone else’s crab legs.