Derek Jeter is setting a great example for the rest of Florida by attempting to purge the Marlins of every arm they’ve got.

Is Chipper trying to be in the new KFC commercials?

Money laundering, wire fraud, tax evasion, things like that. The entire system is a conspiracy to commit tax evasion, but the ringleader of the racket is the NCAA which prevents players from claiming their income legally.

She’s just using it as a stepping stone to the President’s cabinet.

It’s spelled nucular.

America 2018, where people train their entire lives and hone their skill to a degree that they’re one of the 10 best in the world...All with the hope that one day, they can land on a bullshit reality competition that featured this:

Fuck I wish I had thought of this before this woman ruined it for everyone.

She may not have won a medal, but I’m guessing she might have a new rule named after her!

Trynna get the whole pipe

Word has it that Elizabeth is also very upset about the “cancellation” of the LL Bean “lifetime guarantee.”

Since the American team is, well, good, she initially competed for her mother’s native Venezuela, before switching her allegiance and representing Hungary...

She’s just there to bone

The money obviously came from a ‘feed the kids charity’

He’s the buyer. The seller is his lawyer who put up the $130 grand for the porn star and never expected repayment.

Maybe he gave one to Bridget Moynahan.

I mean, honestly, who wouldn’t? This isn’t a player’s or staff’s ring, where you earned it as part of helping the team win the SB in whatever small way you could. This is a family/friends ring.

That’s crazy. The only piece of sports memorabilia I could imagine paying that much for would be the jersey Mark Sanchez wore during the Butt Fumble.

Now that Simmons is less of a thing, Bug and Hench have fallen on hard times.

It can be a friend, not necessarily family. My money is on the seller being The Donald.

The week that Wayne LaPierre dies, I am going to go to Chipotle so that I can defecate the remnants of two five pound chicken and steak burritos onto his grave. I will be ashamed if I do not force out an absolute log that reaches from the L to the second R.