They clearly need to make a movie version of the old SNL "Where in the World Is San Diego, California" skit.

Obvious parallel to me: Treasure of the Sierra Madre!  Three guys find wealth and/or power, one goes crazy with it.  Very similar setup here, n'est-ce pas?

Resolved: A better title for the sequel to Friends with Benefits would be Frenemies with Benefits. I've been waiting for Hollywood to get its shit together on that one for years.

@hollyhox That acronym is what finally put this story together for me: This is Peter Griffin's version of Anna and the King, except Miss Marple instead of Anna — or should I say Automaton Nuclear Neo-human Android!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wik…

Seems to be a feature in the original stories too. All the elvish and hobbitish forces of light and white and good against all the dark ringwraiths, orcs, etc.

You know what this reminds me of?
Old School. Everyone seems to love that movie, but to me it was just like this sounds: "Look how we're mocking all these tropes from wacky frat movies! Now look at how we're just doing them ourselves!"

I bet they're not all Eastern Standard
"(All times listed are Eastern Standard.)"

I call tell you right now it won't be half as successful as Christmas Ape, let alone Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp.

Pale Fire?
It sounds like what this really should have been, and what Grahame-Smith may not have had the chops and/or patience for, is something closer to Vladimir Nabakov's Pale Fire, where he invents a typical New England-y poem to "annotate" with a bunch of crazy, off-the-wall shit that forms the real substance and…

If you're going with Jack, and it's a nice hot day, hell you might as well get yourself a bleeding anus.