Are you high? My house is private property, but I’m not allowed to detain the fucking cable guy after he sets up my HBO.

I’m honestly not sure how he managed to finish the game in an hour. A buddy and I just played through it on normal, took a little over two hours, without having to restart any levels. Even howlongtobeat.com lists a completion time of three hours.

These are the same dorks that picked Levi's as the best jeans. No thanks.

These are the same dorks that picked Levi's as the best jeans. No thanks.

I wouldn’t worry about it. Dude can’t spell for shit.

We get it, but you don't have to go that far. I'd hate to see you have to cut into your Confederate flag/hotpocket budget.

Don’t but any until they're at least 50% off.

If you’re selling a $12k bottle at $250 a pour, you won’t be in business long. I’d check your math.

I can't tell if you're bad at sarcasm, or just a fucking idiot.

FUCK that. I’m not wasting good meat on these philistines.

There were no shit 4 ads for a whiskey-of-the-month club as I scrolled through this post.

I’m going to assume that the misspelling of roll was intentional, that you realize that baseball is much less dangerous than boxing, and your comment is 100% sarcasm.

How did you manage to write this entire post without mentioning the number of yards Jackson ran?

Is this sarcasm?

Is this sarcasm?

But how else am I going to access my money if it’s underneath all the bank’s money?

Damn, if I wasn't already getting this game for free, I'd boycott.

This isn’t that hard. If he’s wielding a gun, it’s safe to say he’s a threat to me or my family. 

I never said it was?

Because, assuming this was an honest to god service animal (it’s unclear due to inconsistancies in the source articles) they’d be opening themselves up to an ADA lawsuit.

If that’s the case, the parents were negligent in not getting proper help for the child BEFORE he went blind. 

How would these even be used (incorrectly) as nouns?