That would make a SPECTACULAR tattoo.

“Mormons are so NICE!”

Temple of Doom was the Spielberg divorce movie, he literally had hearts ripping out of it.

what song was he singing in the car?

And he’s out.

NOOOOOOOO. Oh dude I am so sorry.

I always pray there’s a norovirus outbreak at CPAC. Norovirus is one helluva fun, wild ride.

I once heard the adage that “charisma isn’t a character trait it’s a strategy”

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry your family went through that with your grandmother. I’m amazed that, under those circumstances, your mom (and mine, as well) were such great moms.

I used to HATE it when my mom was right (which was usually, TBH). Until I smartened up and realized I was getting solid-gold therapy for the low low price of a smooch and a “Thanks, Mom.”

As soon as I read “Guys and Dolls” I thought “This is about that ‘Marry the Man Today’ song.” I did that show in middle school and even back then—waaaaay back then, in the ‘70s--it squicked me out. Your mom was AWESOME to call it out, and kudos to you and your sis for remembering it.

I listened to myself and didn’t date until I found someone worth my time and energy.

HOLY. SHIT. I am so, so glad you listened to your own counsel. You sound like a great mom, and your daughter is lucky to have you.

I have deal breakers - and I’ve learned what I will compromise on.

Just chiming in to say: kudos to your mom for being better than her own mother.

I listened to my mom instead of Gottlieb, which is to say: I listened to myself.

OMG. That slightly raised eyebrow gives me chills. PERFECTION.

OMG YES! A great line with so many applications!

Ian McKellan, Cold Comfort Farm: “THERE’LL BE NO BUTTER IN HELL!” The whole scene is fucking hilarious, but if you want to skip to the line, it’s at 2:04. I use it whenever anyone does something godless (I say it to myself at least 3 times a day).

Wow, this from the President of the United States?!?