Funny, heartwarming and a legit crusade against evil.

However, this has already been done a lot better twenty years ago and was actually funny.

& now, onto watching the Ghost & Mr. Chicken!

...everything you described (SMELL, SIGHT, HORROR, GAG) unfolded in front of me AND on my HANDS.

I did not. But it was a nice little glass bowl so I’m confident somebody found it and gave it a home.

I’m hoping for a slow, steady build.

A rotten egg.

Sweet baby jebus, how do people NOT help with strollers when they see a caregiver in need? It’s, like, Humanity 101! Unless of course you are physically incapable, which carries its own challenges.

I was taught both as a kid and I do them well because I’ve sewed countless buttons and baked even more cakes.

Along those same lines, it always frosts my pumpkin when I hear a guy say “She doesn’t know the right way throw a ball! She doesn’t know the right way to hammer a nail!” Bitch, you weren’t born with those skills. Somebody taught you. Be a teacher, not an asshole. AND don’t be an asshole-ish teacher, either.

OMG yes. One thing attention whores canNOT understand is that everyone isn’t an attention whore. If the person you’re proposing to has a more quiet, reserved demeanor, accommodate that. It won’t kill you to turn off the spotlight and just let the moment shine for itself.

I responded “I appreciate that you’ll pray for me but I don’t need or want your pity.”

Oh, you magnificent bastard.

He looks like the benighted progeny of a hate-fuck between Mike Myers and Tilda Swinton.

Unless you are a nun!

...a vintage line-green Pyrex like the one my grandmother used to make fudge...

Special shoutout to the guy in the blue t-shirt offering his own, very eloquent salute.

I’m imaging the headless horseman just going at it.

Dudes that got a thing for youthful bodies have got some serious headtrips going on about age and mortality. Fucking younger women (while gross because it is) is also some sort of pathetic thrashing against the inevitabilities of life and death.

I will never, EVER forget this—back in the day (I’m talking 3 decades ago) I was a cute little 20-something who was so painfully naive it was a wonder I survived into my 30s. One of my clients, a grotesque older dude in his fifties with a massive, gin-blossom nose, brillo-textured gray hair, and saddlebags under his…