This creativity is why Jalopnik needs a weekly photos hop contest. 

Or is it?

Use Papyrus you cowards!

Better than Comic Sans

That’s an honestly decent take.

I think it helps that FCA’s products are well styled. Everything I can think of off the top of my head is handsome and clean, without relying on flavor of the week gimmicks, fake vents, floating roofs, weird C pillars, running lights that zig zag up to the A pillar, etc.

Saturn doesn’t actually have any brand equity to resurrect.

But still will look better than a Cybertruck. Bet me.

Funny you should mention that. In 2017, a guy named Fred Ashmore (along with a co-driver) loaded his P71-powered ‘63 Ford Galaxy with a few snacks, a couple of piss funnels and... wait for it... a 187-gallon fuel tank he had to jam into the back seat by cutting off and reattaching the roof. He and his co-driver made…

But for us Jalops, it also needs to be a brown manual diesel wagon :-P 

Add yellow lower wing protectors with optional rare purple.

Step 1: Peugeot 508.

Just take the Durango, put a 300 front clip on it and BOOM! Chrysler is saved.

Great article Jason, at least what I could read of it

Casting my vote:

Holy crap, TORCH made the best suggestion?

Exactly. A Cx-5 is plenty roomy for four adults since there is no attempt at squeezing a 3rd row in. With a $30K budget, you can just get into a lightly used AWD Grand Touring.

Here, let me fix your comment.

If I had to settle for an SUV I would be hard pressed to buy anything besides this or a Ascent. CX-9 is also a fabulous thing to sit in. 

Definitely not. The first one that comes to mind is the Audi 5000. It was all just pedal misapplication by dumb people.