Your treatment has made me so angry. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You deserve justice, and I know you’ll ace the bar.

OK, then maybe one of these dudes:

You miss the point entirely. The unhappiness is about under-represented communities, not these details you throw up as a straw man. The “criticism” of Apu is barely criticism of the character at all but rather pointing out that when your only representation in American pop culture is a stereotype, the dominant (white)…

its cute how you people are all ignoring the racial undertones with your little “but what about”-isms... 

You don’t seriously think that’s a witty rebuttal, do you? It’s hard for grown men to sound like boys. Azaria doesn’t have the same excuse.

Thank god the Space Force will protect us from the dangerous aliens in the future

Space Seed 

So, what’s the goal?  Get thrown into prison?

I love how we just brush past Fallon and move right on to whoever's next, because seriously, fuck that guy.

I would have if I had remembered it.

I mean, they ignored the indictments and guilty pleas it had already generated, so this isn’t changing their minds either.

Perhaps, but it’s hard to feel sympathy for the guy who is staring down his list of charges.

For the person complaining yesterday that the Russian investigation was a waste of time and should end and had found nothing in the *two years* it was happening...I wonder if this counts as *something.*

Those face tattoos are one sure-fire way of telling your dad you refuse to take that job in middle-management...

No, that’s a great thing.

“How do I keep my salad from getting tossed while I’m in the bathroom?”

Okay, I’ll take a stab at it. Off the top of my head:

“Slap a coaster or napkin on top of your drink—the pre-digital “brb”—and you’re good. Hey whippersnappers, you kids still know about this trick, right?”

Once he realizes that really helping doesn’t need advanced batteries, a giant tunnel or rocket parts, he’ll move on to the next spotlight.