“markets up BIG since the 2016 election”

I’ve managed this long without hearing one of Orange Windbag’s speeches out loud, so no. Hell no. I would rather clean grout out of my bathroom tiles or sit and stare at the wall for an hour than listen to that.

From now on, whenever someone tells me to “live in the real world,” I’m just going to laugh my ass off.

Honey, I sure as hell can’t explain Florida to you! (The last time I was there - in 1998! - I swore it would be the very last time. And it was; I don't care which old aunt or uncle dies, they can have the funeral without me.)

Seriously. Fucking Rick Scott would’ve dragged his feet on this for-fucking-ever if he could have.

How is this craven motherfucker still working in public service and not as a used yacht salesman?

Florida’s hypocritical self-righteous Republicans’ days are numbered (and there’s vodka in that bottle now).

“The Democrats have their finger on the block button, vowing to block every single bit of legislation flowing through Congress that doesn’t ensure the re-opening of the government. Looks like Pelosi, Schumer, and co. are remaining firm with this one.”

I would much rather have Bernie use his political capital and goodwill to take on apprentices for the next generation of politicians—especially those starting small and not already in the federal government—than run for President again.

Joe, Bernie...for the love of Grodd, stay out of the 2020 race. Both of you have zero chance of defeating Donald, and you’ll just embolden new waves of Bernie Bros and Joe-Joe Binkses. You had your time; now step aside and let a new wave of candidates show us what they have to offer.

Of course that Women’s March was going to be overwhelmingly white. Humboldt County ain’t exactly L.A. when it comes to ethnic diversity, y’know? Were organizers expecting people of color to bus themselves up to far northern California to improve the optics?

Never. Happen.

I’ll just be happy if we still have books in the future, at least books that we don’t have to burn to survive.

Just to be sure, the Big Orange Baby just stated that he knows more and is better at Military than a highly decorated 4-Star General.

Had to read the last Barf Bag of the year-but I shouldn’t have read the tweets, godsdamnit.

Because I screwed up the original one majorly, mathematically speaking.

Just as we should rename the street that runs past the Saudi Embassy “Khashoggi Way,” we should rename 5th Avenue, the NYC street on which Trump Tower is located, “Barack Obama Avenue.” He’d have to see it every time he looked a piece of Trump stationery.

So, if Cohen was in Prague, and his lawyer is publicly denying that he was in Prague, then:

Hey, those Raytheon profits aren’t going to make themselves.

“We built these streets! White men built these streets!”