Was the Tombstone pizza still frozen? Because that would definitely push you/her into the lead.

Yeah, but it’s reeeeeeeally hard to stab someone with an electric kettle. Believe me.

You sit down and read your paper, and you’re enjoying your entire two-page comics spread. Right? And then there’s the Family fucking Circus, bottom right-hand corner, just waiting to suck.

Some days I wake up thinking “Can we just have nuclear hellfire rain down upon us today?! Just for a change! Just to get on with it!!”

That’s a perfect metaphor for anything regarding our current president.

I can ride a bike again!!

Jujy, I love your posts dearly but I don’t think “equivocates” is the right word in that context. ;-)

Yes please!

They won’t face consequences because rounding up your predecessors and prosecuting for the things they did during their time in office is something tin pot dictators and we can’t afford to slip farther down that road even if prosecutions would be warranted. :-|

Fox, Hannity and journalistic integrity?

Hmmm. I have a good friend named True. It’s not short for anything. Just “True”. She’s in her early 40s.

I told my wife this a couple weeks ago: what if the whole run for presidency was a long con to (a) be able to pardon himself and family or (b) run out the statute of limitations on some crime that was likely to be discovered.

You take that back! Steve Martin is a goddamn national treasure!!

Privilege may never have attached if he wasn’t operating in the capacity of an attorney in those conversations or if the conversations never qualified as privileged communication.

And proofreaders. :-D

AFAIK Cohen recording his own conversations doesn’t qualify as wiretapping.

What is wrong with this site lately?! Why are the tweets always messed up?

Look. You run the universe, apparently, so stop complaining. Sheesh!

Why is 35 years old the threshold for counting a maternal death? That seems ridiculously high.

“Scott Pruitt vs The World”