You would be pissed too if you had a head coach who, for what seems like the umpteenth time in his career, had his team run a 4th-quarter drive that took longer than 7 minutes while losing by more than 7 points and then kick-off deep while trailing with less than 3 minutes remaining and holding only one timeout.

You might have to settle for Big Ben forcing himself on the Pats defense.

#peptalktruthers

It would be fantastic if James Harrison breaks Tom Brady’s back on Sunday.

He’s not wrong.

Who the hell drags two bathtubs onto the beach anyway?

I always liked Levitra’s “throw a football through a tire swing, IF YA KNOW WHAT I’M SAYIN’ RIGHT GUYS?!?!” ridiculousness.

Based on his meat sweats alone, we can conclude that Berman was the opposite of a great journalist.

You just don’t understand, because you’re young and inexperienced.

Like some kind of discount-rate bird.

I will definitely arrange the toppings on a frozen pizza to minimize the changes of having to cut through a piece of pepperoni. Although, I have no idea why I re-arrange the topping or cut the pizza, since I live alone and never fail to eat the whole thing in the first place.

You need to come out to REAL America. You know, where we make our sushi with Uncle Ben instant rice, a can of Chicken of the Sea tuna, and some Philadelphia cream cheese.

Cold beer while sitting in a hot shower. Perfection.

You are a sociopath.

Wait, why is anyone sitting in the shower? Are we sure Charlie didn’t typo and leave an “h” out of the operative word? That would sound more like a Funbag question.

Having fun every weekend in your 20s is way better than doing it in your 40s.

See, this is how you poke a butt: