How long does it have to be to count as waiting for it? I’ve been in a decently long line for a slice of pizza at a ball game, and at a comic convention. It absolutely wasn’t because the pizza was great, just that was the quickest way to get some food. I want to say we waited like ten minutes to get the slice. Other…

I’m not sure if this is going to save any time or not, but my tip is that one should take a moment to confirm that a famous person actually said something before using that quote as the backbone of an article. I’m sure it saves time to just include it uncritically, but then you’ve published an article under your name…

Aren’t the Simpsons on Disney+?

I did, and it was a really good sandwich. 

Booby traps of any sort, of which your shock system would be, are illegal everywhere I’ve ever looked into the law. You can’t have a spike pit to catch a burglar, and you can’t rig your lawn to shock people or animals.

I have had my lawn killed by my dog’s pee, but that was because he was going through chemotherapy. So it is certainly possible, but it was a rather unusual circumstance. Different meds, or strange diets, might also contribute to it. But it is also possible that there are cats, raccoons, birds, snakes, or whatever also…

Sidewalks are for everyone to walk on. A dog is going to pee where it is going to pee, so if a dog pees on your lawn or mailbox, that’s life. The dog owner should absolutely pick up any poop, and if they don’t, they should be fined heavily by the city. But you need to get over the pee thing - there are a lot more…

At first I thought that would be a good band name, but it actually sounds more like the secret Twitter account of a stuffy Senator.

Are you unaware of the ability of people to bend over?

Good luck with sobriety on this - it’s a tough road, and I wish you all the best.

Yeah, the Golden Moment (h/t to Anne Rice and The Vampire Lestat). Always try to stretch it out, but eventually I fall into full on drunk, or it wears off enough that I get a headache. If you can maintain it, it’s perfect.

Yeah, if the seat won’t go back, I’m standing up and looking at it. I could absolutely tell if something was jammed in there, and I would either remove it or get an attendant to do so. Anyone larger than a toddler could reach anything that is on the seat. If you wouldn’t remove your laptop, you absolutely would when…

Lots of people, especially famous people, will read anything tweeted about them. If people are tagging him, he may very well read it.

Sure I can. When I stand up and look at the back of the seat and say, “Oh, that must be what is blocking my seat. I’ll give that to the attendant so they can be sure to know there’s a problem here.” The person who used it could attempt to say it’s theirs, I guess, but since U.S. airlines have banned those, they will…

If it makes Louis C.K. feel bad, then it is doing more than what would have happened to him 20 years ago.

And if my seat won’t lean back, that’s the first thing I will check, and I’ll give it to the flight attendant.

I would pick up their shoes and hand them off to a flight attendant. That’s your storage area, so I’d just let the attendant know that they aren’t yours, so they probably need to go to lost and found.

I would love it if someone directed their AC at me. That it might happen is enough reason to lean back!

Yes, but do you go door to door asking for candy? I still dress up - from a fright standpoint, my dragon costume was the best I ever did - but I’m giving away candy now, not taking it.

I know my last year was when I was 12, because that was the year that I went as a California Raisin. My parents had decided that we were done and would make no more costumes, I was pissed that my sister ended up with a year more of trick or treating than me, so my friends and I wore garbage bags, black clothes and…