“Welcome back to The North Rehabs! The army of the dead made a mess of the Last Hearth, but Colby and the team have 6 days to make it fit for a King...beyond OR below the Wall!”

No, I get it. He’s one of those actors who doesn’t seem like a real person. Perfectly symmetrical face with a perfect hairline and jawline and this designed-in-a-lab smile. I remember the first dead dad flashback on Never Have I Ever where he pops up, and my reaction was just, “get the fuck out of here.”

It’s not too surprising if you think about it. Greta Gerwig is also a director with an auteur reputation. They’re both projects heavily marketed based on their directorial style and aesthetic. Oppenheimer is a grim prestige drama, but Barbie has pretty successfully positioned itself as something more artsy and…

I don’t know what was on the page or how her performance differed, so that question’s unanswerable to me. Whether her creative liberties were excessive or not, I think Wednesday accomplished its goal, which was to be a genre-aware YA series with a precocious cool girl lead.

Wednesday is the *exact* kind of role that gets a nomination, though, right? It’s a big, eccentric character that invites conspicuous oddness and unsubtle, non-naturalistic choices. I don’t want to give Jenna Ortega shit, as she understood the assignment.

Oh, no, abortion tourism is totally real. Disneyland in California has special bins set up in Fantasyland: abortions go on the left, live births on the right to be sex trafficked. If you can wait, the latter’s worth it: you get a voucher for a free Dole whip.

Insanely charismatic cast, as well.

Hey now, the female cast will be very very age-appropriate for this man. I’m talking old crones, women in their late 30's, even their 40's. Groundbreaking stuff.

I feel like there’s a profound difference between a cliffhanger where the primary plot doesn’t resolve, and an ending that teases more possible plots in the same setting.

Eighth Grade is probably the most realistic depiction of being a pubescent teen in the current era. Turns out it’s unbelievable awkward, nobody is all that articulate, and it’s really sad and shitty and nobody is having a good time.

The pedophile lizard-person conspiracy is too strong for mortal men to stop. But can an Avengers-style team-up of Hercules, Cara Dune from Star Wars, the guy Kirk Cameron plays in the Left Behind movies, and literally Jesus Christ himself finally stop the Biden Crime Family?

Images of totally empty “sold out” screenings of this are fucking hilarious. I’d probably take an edible and see this shit if I didn’t have to pay, but I guess not that many people feel that way, since churches and what-not are buying out screenings and even their people still aren’t going.

Yeah, I don’t understand the point here. “Tom Holland expressed a very understandable tension he feels in his own life. Somehow he deserves derision, because other social categories often have a harder time!”

You’re hitting on tons of reasons that a sequel might be amazing. It probably shouldn’t be another straight-up zombie film, but one exploring the effects on society and on government after surviving an apocalyptic virus.

Yeah, my concern is somewhat stifled by the reality Meta already knows a shit ton about me.

“Now I am become sex, the destroyer of that ass.”

Truly, “Sexy Pinocchio” is a searingly accurate description for Timothée Chalamet.

“Did a Little Too Much LDS: The Warren Jeffs Story”

Yeah, this isn’t drunk person shit, this is “schizophrenic delusion” shit. Liquor does a lot, but it doesn’t make you think a fellow passenger is a faceless non-person sent by demons or lizard-men to crash the plane.

Yes. A $59,000 valuation is almost equally absurd. That’s the price of a car. This JPEG tied to some extra code, that does nothing, required little effort to make, and only exists digitally has no business being worth $1.3M or $59k.