What happened is that Shia is a toxic asset, and Mutt Williams wasn’t a particularly well-liked character from a fairly maligned sequel. So, they weren’t going to include him under any circumstance.

It’s 100% his meaning. He doomsays a lot about the “falling birthrate” in industrial nations, but he for sure means western European, American, or other commonwealth-nation white people. The world population is still increasing, but with The Bad Kind of People.

I mean, it wouldn’t be out of place for Chris Hansen to have shown up when Lucy first goes to Narnia. “Hi there, Mr. Tumnus, I’m Chris Hansen. You wanna explain to me why you’re home alone with an unconscious 9-year-old daughter of Eve? You wanna explain what that magical Narnian flute is used for?”

I’m sure they say something racist, but there is no way it’s literally that. Something functionally similar, for sure...but, like, imagine the bad guy in an Indiana Jones movie literally dropping an n-bomb in 2023. In no universe was a PG-13 LucasFilm release, that’ll be front page on Disney+ by October, shooting a…

“I’m too lazy to engage with your argument so I’ll assume it’s whatever I already thought.” Cool. When society called you a boy that felt accurate and fine for you. Congrats, you’re not trans! Must be nice.

“Nobody” is harsh, but sure.

It was because of his tour-de-force performance as a dwarf who can tunnel underground by unhinging his jaw, rapidly consuming dirt and mud, and explosively ejecting it from his anus.

Goddamn them all!

Thank you! National Treasure rips. I love that goofy-ass movie.

I don’t see how the accountant would be able to halt the transaction as it was happening. A bank could do it if the purchase looked immediately fraudulent, but John Mulaney is wealthy and presumably has a very high limit on his card. $12K might not have flagged anything.

Will Rolex allow him to spend another $12K on one of their products? I think they just might forgive him for selling off the last one, sure...

The most hubristic part, to me, is that this bucket was manned in the first place. They tried to make it as cheaply as possible to juice profits, but it still had to be manned so the assholes renting it would feel like they really did something, conquered nature, saw a rare sight firsthand...through a single porthole.

Oh, of course, Wendy Strauss Rush, of the FuckPoseidon-Strausses from Newport.

It’s clearly this, yeah.

None of it’s in good faith. He obviously knows “cisgender” is a medical term that’s used innocuously. But he also knows the only people who use it earnestly are pro-trans, a “political ideology” he wants to eradicate.

When you were a child, did you know if you were a boy or a girl?

Which would be simply absurd if it wasn’t terrifying: there are millions of Americans who see brutalist regimes overseas banning LGBTQ content (and people) on the basis of fundamentalist Islam, and they’re like, “yes! Our natural allies!”

Is this like those “pranks” idiots post on TikTok that are also just assault? “Watch me prank this random guy by kicking him in the back.”

Most food from a Ghibli movie, really. The feast that turns you to a pig, Calcifar’s breakfast from Howl, any of it.

TBF echidnas also might come up in conversation due to their extremely strange penis morphology. Which was a fun sentence to write and hopefully is a fun sentence to read.