“Suri? Suri. You’re being very suppressive right now, OK? I don’t know if it’s some engram acting out or what, but you need to dial in your perceptics and stop pooping in your diaper.”

I mean, what other wacky shit does he do that his handlers are all like “Hahaha yeah Tom sounds cool haha yeah okay.”

Given how important he is in scientology, next to Miscavige and Hubbard, he’s currently 3rd in the pecking order and that means he is literally infallible. He cannot do or say anything wrong, and if you even suggested that he might not know what cookie dough looks like, you’d be thrown into the super-fun named…

Back in the LRH days, when they actually had boats, children were sometimes disciplined by being forced into the chain locker, which is where the anchor chain is wound up or let down. It’s crazy dangerous to be in there, even for an adult.

Oh Thank God. I thought it was just me! Like, “Ben, it’s over. She married Skeletor. Move on.”

That is exactly it. Because to tell him “It’s right there.” is saying that his communication was ineffective which is one of the biggest infractions there is with high ranking scientolgists. They may as well have pissed on a portrait of L. Ron Hubbard right in front of him.

He’s a big cheese within Scientology. Like the biggest cheese they have, outside of David Muscavige. I’m going to guess that they were not allowed to be too upfront with him.

emotionally and vertically stunted.

His first wife, Mimi Rogers, converted him. I can’t believe I know this.

I seem to recall that he was in a Jesuit monastery at some point. So maybe he’s a person desperately searching for something to believe in.

Our lord Wiki says he got into it in 1990, so he was 27 or 28. I totally thought it was before that. (But he got famous for Risky Business at 20, so probably his 20s were pretty weird even without Scientology.)

What’s weird about it is that they can’t tell him that it’s right there. It’s not about the cookies.

i wanted that guy to be steve buscemi

Chelsea. They won the league at a canter last year.

The only sacking that Jose deserves, is courtesy a teabag from Wenger. Seriously, glad Eva is pursuing a level of justice, more power to her.

If that wasnt a Seinfeld quote, it should have been.

“according to The Secret Footballer, Cesc Fàbregas is leading a “mini-revolt” against Mourinho”

The Treble of Trouble

What about calling the cops on goofy frat boys who just drove your car without permission? Anyone have a problem with that?