As an Oklahoman, I can assure you all that my fellow residents are working tirelessly at this very moment to tie this into a defense of gun owners’ rights.

FIFA’s ethics committee... HAAAHAHAHAHA... No wait, really. That’s like the KKK’s committee on racial diversity and acceptance.

There have been much stricter controls in place even before LA was publicly known as a doper, which was already widely known within the cycling community. Random, unannounced testing which requires the rider always let the UCI know where they will be, as well as a “biological passport” which is a compilation of…

See this a perfectly plausible and shocking description of FIFA. I think the only reason they got caught is because they stopped trying to hide the commonplace corruption.

Well, on the one hand they're all liars.

So I put $50 on top of the mail box. Then I went and made a phone call. When I came back, the $50 was missing but then this girl got in the back of my car and gave me head.

“The most in-depth version of events that sheds some light on what probably actually went on comes from Horst Schmidt”

Where did the money even go?

“He said that, after winning the right to host the tournament in June 2000, the DFB was asked to pay €6.7m into a FIFA account to receive a grant of €170m for the organisation of the tournament.”

Perhaps the dingo ate their money.

It’s probably no coincidence that the shady meeting from which the covert payment was birthed was a one-on-one conversation involving Beckenbauer and Blatter, both currently under investigation by FIFA’s ethics committee.

Ok. At this point can we just assume that every World Cup location was essentially purchased? This is the least surprising news ever and, ultimately doesn’t bother me.

Maybe FIFA is just so corrupt that they don’t know how to legitimate transactions anymore. Like someone in FIFA pulled up the paperwork for the grant, and step one was “get payment from host country.” Their accountants no longer know how not to launder money.

Wait a few days. Benjamin Netanyahu will be blaming it all on the mufti by Saturday.

The people getting the loans signed in their blood and their first born boy was collateral. I assume there was some kind of fire and brimstone branding iron action going on too, but when I tried it kept burning the paper so I switched to ink pens. (If you can call g2 gel “ink”)

The people getting the loans signed in their blood and their first born boy was collateral. I assume there was some…

You got to use an ink pen?? Weird. Back in the day when you worked for the devil you had to fill out everything using your own blood, and THEN seal it with the tears of a deflowered virgin. Boy, have TIMES CHANGED.

You got to use an ink pen?? Weird. Back in the day when you worked for the devil you had to fill out everything…

I had a “bullet” space pen but found it too small (causing my hand to cramp) and the thick ink takes more effort to write (causing my hand to cramp). Still, I had a titanium astronaut pen, so....

I had a “bullet” space pen but found it too small (causing my hand to cramp) and the thick ink takes more effort to…

For MY birthday last year, I went to see her in Blithe Spirit and she was phenomenal. She is a fucking force of nature. She was cavorting around and doing physical comedy in heels and just magical. It was a last minute decision, and I’m so glad I went.

RE: Nacho Cheese Guy