Read this out loud to my daughter, and we are both crying laughing... goodness, the visual!

Actually, it’s a 101st Airborne jersey...

In a fight to the death between Magary and Samer, who would choose the spork as their weapon?

“There’s only one word to describe you, and I’m gonna SPELL! IT! OUT!

If that was what you think the article was about, I feel sorry for you.