Mark Salling, except for the whole pedophile thing.

He has Cumberlock Syndrome: he's not really ON any spectrum, he's SIMULATING a spectrum to compensate for past emotional trauma.

Clever joke, but you've also pretty much word-for-word described the novel and multimedia performance art play "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time."

Everybody knew That One Guy in high school. Mine was a skateboarder and painter who one day yelled "Make room!" and executed a perfect, effortless backflip in the halls. Teachers tried to write him up but he argued that there was no rule against doing a backflip.

This is weirdly close to true in the new "asexual Jughead" comic line. He's got some issues, and his sexuality DOES seem sublimated into a food fetish of sorts. He has dreams in which his friends become food items which he can hang out with AND eat, and he finds himself developing feelings for a girl as long as she's…

Didn't Chuck Palahniuk write a short story inspired by that in "Haunted?" I remember him describing the gigolo as having a penis "short but thick as a can of chili."

You can take her to see "Pippin" when she's a little older: it's less outwardly nightmarish, but that final scene can mess with your head.

Thanks to Cirque making a larger impact on popular culture than expected, "circus skills" are becoming a major facet of specialty training for theatrical performers, the way stage fighting or tap/ballet/specialty dancing used to be. The national tour of Pippin keeps at least one of the world's few trained Rolla-Bolla…

It's cheaper to travel by train to and from NYC on the East Coast than it is to fly, and the flights are typically plagued by delays that make the flight package take longer than the seven-hour train ride.

I'm sure there's that too.

Hurry, hurry, hurry! Step right up for unemployment!

You heard it here first, folks: Corinne J. Burks killed and ate her own family.

Working class Italian-American guys have a tendency to look older than their years. There was a contestant on "America's Got Talent" this year, a large, red-faced Rat Pack throwback who flirted with the audience and Heidi Klum. During the show's finals week, he turned 21.

I've heard an idiot online claiming that "guitar music" (read: the primarily white mainstream rock tradition since about the mid-1960s) is offensive and oppressive, using its loud volume, rigid tempos and primarily white, male hegemony to silence minority voices which choose more "fluid" instruments like the piano or…

Nobody has mentioned the most obvious bit of metafictional fan-service yet: Mark Gatiss in prosthetic makeup as a rustic grotesque. Just like old times.

I'd theorize that most 21st century adaptations of Holmes are more influenced by the characterizations of a previous, immensely successful adaptation of the character: Dr. House.

Everyone in the show has tried again and again to diagnose Sherlock, Sherlock included. He's been seen as autistic, a sociopath, queer in the closet, asexual, and any number of other things. As it turns out, he's none of the above: just a very sad child who decided to stop being sad and stop being everything else too.

There were rumors that Tom Hiddleston was going to appear as the Lost Holmes.

I thought the Pope was going to be revealed, in the final moments, to have been the Salesman. Antichrist ascended to Antipope.

I took that to be part of the point- Tomas hasn't lost his faith or his morality. He's lost his religion, stepping away from the strict code that a priest must and an exorcist absolutely must follow.