Like "Velvet Goldmine!" But with probably less of Ewan McGregor's penis!

Adam Sandler as Schecky Gordon.

After reading "Frank: The Voice/Sinatra: The Chairman," I can say with some assurance that there's already a great Sinatra biopic and it's BoJack Horseman.

Hanging over Kylo Ren's head and advising him only to kill people who deserve it, and to never get caught? I can actually kinda see that… oh, wait. That's the wrong Harry Morgan.

He fell in love with a sandwich and it messed him up. I'm not kidding, that's a plotline in the new continuity. They're really pushing the boundaries of how psychosexual they can make his food obsession.

Starring Norbert Leo Butz as Sally?

The rebooted Jughead's whole thing is "fuck you, I'm me." The whoopee cap is a "weird punk affectation," and the S on his sweater (which traditionally stands for Sandwiches, his passion) now stands for "suck it" if you don't agree with his or anyone else's lifestyle, beliefs or sexual orientation.

Archie classic is marketed towards kids who read it and think of high school, "Man, I hope it'll be like that!" The "new Riverdale" imprint and this show seem to be targeted to adults who think of high school, "Man, I WISH it was like that!"

What about Strangers in Paradise? That one actually COULD make a god CW show.

Raelianism is like a perverse attempt to out-Scientology Scientology, complete with having a Tom Cruise-esque "celebrity field commander." But Raelianism's field commander is minor musical theatre star Glenn Carter, best known as one of the Jersey Boys.

You heard it here first, folks- Raymond Thomas killed and ate his own family.

G.E. Smith actually has his own rival band, Moonalice, which similarly uses a bunch of classic studio talent. They're a folky jam band, while TMDB tends more towards adult contemporary and jazzy rock.

Shaffer was going to be keyboardist and emcee. You can hear him do the opening monologue on one of the Blues Brothers CDs.

The tour indicates "surprise guest vocalist" at every venue. I wonder if it's someone from the album pending availability, or if each town is getting a local well-known vocalist to join them onstage.

"Hullo, ah'm Sarah McLachlan, an' if you don't send me money raht now, I swear to Christ I'll kill this dog. Just gimme a reason, folks, I'll fuckin' demolish the pupper if you don't cough it up."

The Wizard of Oz, like Alice in Wonderland, has done more than pass into the public domain: it's made the transition from fiction to folklore, infinitely malleable and evolving in a way other public-domain stories are not. For example, even the word "Ozian" to describe the denizens of Oz comes from the 21st century…

I think it boils down to a simple question of dignity versus prosperity, and which, as a capital-I idea, you believe is more important.

it's no longer snowing on mount fuji

That's nothing, just wait for Halloween. Nothing but Trumps and Melanias. Either by way of satire, or by way of new law that all people must be Trumps for Trumpleween.

I got the History of Classical Music on 100 CDs music-history course, and I've been doing a chapter and a CD per day. It's in a weird place where it's the most comprehensive music library available, but not comprehensive enough to be a "complete guide to all music ever." So I'm gonna use it to learn a basic…