Would that make it a fire sale?

You know, there was a time, we’d take under-performers out back and beat them with a hose. Now they’ve got their goddamn unions.

When you have $70k to spend, why on earth would you buy a Golf? It may be quick, but it certainly isn’t $70k fast.

The participants were arranged left-to-right according to the quantity of facial hair and right-to-left according to smileage.

Or an Accord “HondaCat”?

Yeah. That just happened. Suck it, horses.

“The answer, according to the Seebachans’ lawyer Todd Tracy, can be explained by the concept of shear panels, which, like shear walls on a house, act to stabilize the structure from deformation:”

For Gawd’s sake please just delete “Tesla-killer” from the Jalopnik vocabulary already. Porsche aren’t going to kill Tesla any more than Tesla are going to kill Porsche. Until any EV car can rival or license the Supercharger technology they aren’t even coming close to Tesla. And when they do Tesla will simply be a…

First you complain that I don’t have a good relationship with you mother. Then you complain that I do. What the hell do you want from me?

Check it out. Houston Cars & Coffee. Blue GT350? Look Mustang, act Mustang, not Full Mustang. Lost control, hit the curb, scared some people. Not Full Mustang. You know the GT500 in Chicago? The white convertible? Reckless, yes. Mustang, maybe. Drove it into a tree. But he did his best not to hit anything else.…

I’m pretty sure the REAL reason is so you don’t show up on the mini map when firing!

What’s more impressive is they managed to find the only 249 on planet earth that can fire more than 100 rounds without a stoppage.

*Google car twitches slightly*

Derwin employee 1: How can we make a decade-old Italian supercar less reliable?

Has it ever occurred to you that every time you are working on your Z, you are giving it a Z job - ZJ?

A) That’s actually exactly how insurance works. Money spent attempting to mitigate something that will probably never happen in the first place, yet you pay it anyways because you are not a moron and do not possess a crystal ball.

This reminds me of an ex-girlfriend who could do a similar trick with her tongue

BEEP BOOP ANALYZING ROADWAY

I am just going to throw mine in the trash can, like I do with my paint, monitors, and unborn fetuses. 

GNX... GNX... GNX... GNX... (Paints pentagram on the floor. The sacrificial LS is placed in the center) GM GODS HEAR ME! I SACRIFICE ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN IN HOPES OF SUMMONING THAT WHICH IS MOST HATED IN THE GM FAMILY! I SUMMON DEATH INCARNATE! BRING FORTH GNX!