I’m in a full on “Ugly Cry” over here. What a powerhouse she was. This fucking year, jesus.

A typical tonsillith is about the size of a popcorn kernel

I have given birth to none. I have fostered seven in my home. I have financially supported two Africans throughout their childhood. I am auntie to none by blood, I am auntie to at least 10 otherwise. I have pics of Japanese, Ethiopian and Caucasian kids on my mantel right now. But I take great care NOT to elevate…

I would guess at least a quarter of rage fans don’t comprehend the lyrics. Probably more.

Seeing that paunchy Trumpie goober metaphorically getting his bow shoved up his ass was deeply satisfying. He decided to go out courting trouble and he found some.

He had two choices.

I’m convinced that most major corporations are just a house of cards — nothing more than accounting tricks to keep their heads barely above water while the executives enrich themselves. Tap one little card at the bottom and everything comes crashing down, except for executive salaries of course. Gotta take care of…

If they quit going to Starbucks and eating avocado toast every morning they would be just fine. They just need to get a 2nd or 3rd job and pull themselves up by their boot straps. 

Oddly enough, I dusted off my old blades that have been sitting in my garage since 95. They were extremely snug so I decided to get a new pair that actually fit. Granted I wear a 16 now, but even at that size, the places I checked only had 1 or 2 left, with a 17 tossed in there also. I managed to get my pair, and…

For the folks that wear plastic gloves everywhere... Please stop, they are not effective in keeping you from getting CV or anything else. Medical folks wear them for an immediate task that involves blood, wet work or something otherwise icky and then they properly discard the them, and that’s not in the damn parking…

Dealing with all of the precautions -- which may or may not even do any good -- is completely exhausting.

Transgender Penguins are ruining America.

Remember kids.

The entire fam jam is excited for this (so much so that we’re breaking our “avoid cinemas and wait to watch it at home” rule, something we didn’t even do for Star Wars IX).

Just being a Nazi just means you’re a shithead, not that you automatically belong in jail.

The whole “minivans are uncool” thing is ridiculous on it’s face. You ceased being a cool person when you had kids, buying a tarted up wagon with plastic wheel arches isn’t going to fool anyone. Just get the damn minivan, it’s the best tool for the job.

I don’t think I want to know what is going on in that Alaska King bed.

A space heater (because as one parent put it, “pumping in a cold room sucks”)

“I hit stupid orange cones all the time, ON PURPOSE, because, like Elon, I realize they serve no useful purpose except to hold back a multitide ofimbeciles like you, sitting in your cars, slaves to one stupid little orange cone.”

Its now easier to call someone a horse fucker without fear of lawsuits than it is to be ungrayed on kinja.