OH MY GOD SHE CLAPPED! THINK OF THE OPPONENTS! ETHICS IN GOALSCORING! THEY’RE CELEBRATING! ACT LIKE YOU BEEN THERE BEFORE!!!

Yeah, but LaVar is probably ready to drown himself in Lake Pontchatrain, so I’m good with it.

Serge Ibaka got a ring before Harden and Westbrook.

Glad to. This is a list of the regions of the United States of America. Hope this helps.

The thing that gets me about this is that there’s literally no other scenario in the world where a dink like Stevens would do this to someone like Lowry who could clearly and easily kick the shit out of him. The only thing that lets someone like Stevens think he can get away with it is a lifetime of thinking that…

Finally, a video that belongs on Deadspin.

“the official pest control provider to The San Diego Padres.”

Wiping out swarms of native Californians is pretty standard for Padres.

#BlackAndYellowLivesMatter

I feel like we need to talk more about how the NYPD has a bee unit.  (I’m not criticizing them for it; I just find it very interesting.)

Nope; it should have been done a while ago.

The stadiums are designed to distract you no matter what age you are, even when players are at-bat. Vendors, stuff on the video boards, food and drink...the teams/orgs themselves are doing what they can to keep you from paying full attention.

And nevermind how fucking fast…

I enjoy baking for special occasions and the parties. People have often said “You should open a bakery” and I take it as exactly and you say in the article - it’s a compliment.

That ending twist though

You asked so kindly, so sure.

I would appreciate so very much if you shared the fart poem.

The real benefit of eating lunch at 11 am is that it makes the whole process much more efficient and faster. If I go to lunch and get there at 11 or shortly thereafter, there’s no lunch traffic to fight on the drive, there’s no line to be seated, there’s no delay in getting my soda/food/bill, then there’s not much…

This is indeed a harrowing tale and recounted in a way that is so relatable to all of us. I guess that’s what makes us all such big fans.

Get well Drew.

Can’t tell you how many text messages I exchanged with friends seriously worrying about the health of a person I have never met and will likely never meet.

Jesus, man. This is harrowing. Like everyone else in the comments, I’m glad things didn’t go differently.