Hernandez learned everything he knew about the Bible from Tim Tebow, which explains why his understanding of it was incomplete.

This is awful. But if anyone can come back from this, it’s this guy.

.

Did Bofa get signed though?

Oh great, jellyfish have learned how to post internet comments.

This is the least fun thing anyone has ever said.

Starting it off early this year.

How did your dad’s reaction kill Hank Gathers?

I guess it’s easy to weigh them if you keep them in your nightstand.

I carve a hole in cantaloupes and then microwave them for 30 seconds, before having sex with them. So maybe you should rethink your “a cock massage can be every bit as good as whatever else you’re into.” statement there pal.

I’m 38 and I give myself hand jobs nearly every day.

Technically she couldn’t masturbate him, he has to. JO or HJ is what you’re title should indicate.

Actually, I am surprised someone had the balls to report him.

Alternate headline: “Asshole Dies For Doing Asshole Things.”