Well, you know what that old saying is.

I read this article, and the first thing I thought of was that old internet image.

Technically, if you want to fuck a vampire, you’re cracking open a cold one.

Turn them on? Bull, if they’re available, they’re on by default.

A company that rakes in millions of dollars per year, and they can’t hire one person to check their Japanese and ask them “Hey, is this right?”

Don’t worry, there’s functions with the bidet that will change her mind. ;)

Not only is this sentence utterly ass-backwards, so is him even trying to plead guilty to a crime he didn’t even commit in order to get the more serious charge dropped!

I would’ve been double-screwed had I bought this guide. I didn’t even have the internet then.

I’ve only had mine for a few weeks, but it’s been far more off my dock than on.

So basically, the Republicans have turned into Dennis Moore?

We’d lose Melissa McCarthy.

Somehow, Donald Trump is surprised at every reaction he gets when he does something.

So I guess this means that Rival Schools 3 has a Baby Geniuses Team.

New Yorker here. I can confirm that in my family (at least, my mom), she tends to call it the “tin foil,” although I’ve also heard her say “aluminum foil.”

Why are they $495?

Wait till a lot of those NRA members find out that their Hoveround has poor traction in the woods and high grass - and that fixing it is NOT as simple as putting on a ghillie suit.

“You RED team ladies wouldn’t know how to break a spring if—”

Haven’t we all snorted Coke before at least once in our lives?

A Trump appointee, having no idea what they are doing and being grossly underqualified and unsuited for the agency she leads?

I think what really makes this article isn’t the massive amount of PC geekdom, but the reference to Green Eggs and Ham.