Pictured above: "Hey assholes! You said we were going to spend a day on the links, so where are the fucking sausages?!?"

It's true. When Osama Bin Laden ordered the attack on the Twin Towers, it was actually designed to take out Tim Duncan and David Robinson in retaliation for the 1999 lockout.

Greetings from heaven, suckers! How was your rapture?

This is terrible on so many levels.

She reminded you of Corky?!?

Redacted for an apparent lack of creativity.

1) Bring a bottle of wine

At least my dad isn't Kevin Mitchell.

Great piece. For this casual hockey fan, you provided terrific insight into the fabric of the game.

Waiting for the Gay Superstar - Chapter 6

You want to get really fired up, go take a look at the ESPN comments on the article.

It's only been three months since the redesign, and the IT department has been tied up trying to figure out how to make the Norelco ads as intrusive as possible.

At JaMarcus Russell's birthday, this would qualify as "Hors d'oeures."

Lionel Richie was once asked to deplane after causing damage by dancing on the ceiling.

Another disoriented goalie with angle trouble? Pelle Lindbergh.

"Met the first girl I knew who could deepthroat"

I don't know about HGH, but I've personally seen Bartolo Colon and Joba Chamberlain injecting each other with Lipitor.

Sounds like Festivus came early for this guy.

I know we get enough "adorable puppy" videos from our grandmas and girlfriends (well, grandmas, anyway, if the Gawker media survey is accurate), but this has been cracking me up, and I wanted to share . . .

Anybody catch the HBO special, "Talking Funny?" Great stuff, if you're into comedy and its craft.